The Secret Happenings of Ward Primary Programs

Our church has a "primary program" every year around this time. We had it when I was young and it will most likely continue if it is as spiritual AND entertaining as it has always been.

The children (between 4-11 years old) sit up in front of the congregation and sing all the songs they've learned throughout the year interspersed with little memorized parts that the children created as a response to questions they were asked earlier in the year.

I was one of the adults sitting in the back row of the choir seats - in other words...a prime location to survey the antics. I teach the 10 year olds and so these antics are primarily from them.

• A boy in my class, that doesn't attend church very often, rolled up a piece of little paper and started to pretend he was smoking. Um, we are Mormon. Um, we are sitting in front of 300 people.
• The boy next to the boy "smoking," tried to hold down the hand of the boy so the audience couldn't see it. He tried to give a mini lecture friend to friend. It didn't work until I leaned down, grabbed the fake cigarette and told him how disappointed I was in him. Of course, I was not moving my lips and so I'm sure the audience just saw a ventriloquist mouth.
• Another boy wanted candy from my purse and leaned down, underneath the choir seats, and was loudly saying he deserved the candy right then.
• The little girl next to me (a very proper little girl) had a cold. Apparently, her nose was numb because she wasn't aware of various colors dripping down to her lip. I about gagged, but didn't have any tissue. She even went up and sang with a small group, got some tissue and didn't use it.I finally had to lean over and say - "Um, there is some stuff on your face below your nose."
• Another girl started a small issue because the fake plants behind us kept touching her hair. She got three people in the back row involved until a song finally started and they could stand up and avoid the fake plant.
• Different kids kept thumping their feet on the floor which surprisingly caused the floor to shake a bit. If little bodies could have the effect on our movement, surely I couldn't move a muscle. And, I tried not to.
• The "smoking" boy asked for candy loudly during a baby's blessing.

There was a lot of great singing (yelling from the four year olds) and some cute little moments when kids sang completely wrong words to songs, changed their lines, shared their lines with great feeling or ...just plain refused to say anything.

All in all it was a fun experience - adults smiled and cried and sometimes laughed. The closing song included the entire audience and I haven't felt that strong of a spiritual feeling in a while.

Good stuff and I'm looking forward to the one next year even if I don't get the same prime seating.