Cancer and a prayer for Holly

Though I'm at work, I'm having a hard time concentrating and figured I should take a few minutes to write down some thoughts.

Last night we went out to eat with a good friend that has just found out she has pancreatic cancer (terminal) and lymphoma (which there are solutions to nowadays). I've talked to her a few times on the phone recently, but this is the first time I had seen her since a hospital visit last winter.

She didn't look well. We went to a Peruvian hole in the wall for dinner. Every few months we go out to these types of places to eat with her, but life has gotten busy and it's taken months to meet back up again.

We talked about how she was feeling and are usual topics -politics, church, her work, our work, etc.

Her non-emotional personality made it kind of hard to gage how she felt about everything. It makes it difficult to ask the right questions as well. At one point I had to ask if she wanted to talk about her illnesses or something else because I wasn't sure what direction to go.

Out of the blue, halfway through the meal, she stated simply that she had 5-8 months to live. She kept talking after making the statement and we just sat still listening while allowing a tear or two to fall unattended down the cheek.

What do you say to something like that?

"Don't say that - you will be ok"

"We will pray for you"

"What can we do to help?"

It is so hard to sit across the table from someone who looks sick and part of them already seems to have moved on from this life. That sounds bad to say, but it was an overwhelming feeling and with the feeling came no words that could help in any way.

These experiences always put life in perspective. What would I do if I knew I only had 5-8 months to live? Of course, life could end any minute, but knowing that your body literally won't sustain you through another year would be an opportunity and a painful experience all at the same time.

My Aunt Anne died this year and she had been told she had one year to live last year. She was having heart problems and knowing that fact, it still came as a shock. She wrote a little autobiography during that time. I'm currently formatting it for a book combined with photos that we can find of her throughout the years. She used her time wisely, not just in writing her autobiography, but in spending the time with people she loved.

I hope that I can do a better job of caring for people each day, working without making that the top priority, spending a little time documenting how life is going and being more of an example.

Life is definitely too short. Hopefully it will be packed full of experience and not space filling.

Yes, I will still pray for my friend and have faith for her recovery. At one point in our conversation she actually talked about her faith and her appreciation for those who have supported her through this ordeal. Sorry to say that I haven't been there for her all this time. But, happy to say that she gave an inspiring little speech/testimony there at the dinner table. So, her example will continue to be felt whether she has health miracles or not.

These challenges always spur questions like - why did this happen? I still don't know even though we know that life will be full of challenges. All I can do is learn what I can from them and hope I have a chance to share the learnings and live a little longer.

So, Holly, you probably won't ever read this, but we'll continue to talk, visit a hole in the wall restaurant or two, and pray and hope for your recovery during this difficult time.