Toilet Drama

So, both toilet's have slowly become liabilities to me. Really, why do we have to worry about these types of fixtures?

I was hoping to get by on another year without replacing them. Yet, when you have people living below you, sometimes the requirements for replacing things are based on other facts. Instead of "I'll make do and just put towels around it so the leaks don't go through the floor" it is "I need to replace these ASAP before I have to pay for toilets and for the ceiling and walls of the person downstairs."

These types of things are interesting ventures. If only our money would explode in growth the way these projects unfold.

Let's take a look at how it plays out:

• Search the Internet - toilets range from $140 to $1,400. Golden seats?
• Ask around - the guy at work that knows these things suggested the "Champion 4" toilet that boasts the ability to flush golf balls by the bucket full. Pray tell, why? If you have the need to flush golf balls (or produce anything like golf balls for the throne), shouldn't you be getting some kind of professional help? Either way, his suggestion was entertained.
• Go to Home Depot - the toilets are elevated at a 45 degree angle at about four feet above my head (which is itself located 6 feet above the ground) which seems like bad Feng Shui to me and doesn't allow you to test the flush handle. You feel like the wall of toilets will come crashing down on you and so I step back a few feet for personal protection as I make this important decision.
• Compare the charts - each toilet has a little chart about height, flush potential, and all of these other details no one would ever think about on a day to day basis. Luckily, I learned that I needed to measure the length from the wall to the little plastic knob on the toilet base that conceals a very important screw. The standard is 12 inches from the wall, but sometimes there are 10 or 16 inch distances.
• Select the toilet that is around $200 - way too much for this, but at least it lasts a few years. Pay $115 for each to be installed. Yes, they provide directions. No, I will not do this because who knows what troubleshooting will come up.
• Shipping - that would be "Me" that took care of this after a worker promised to help me load both toilets if I drove to the door. It became obvious that I was the woman for the job when no one returned to assist. One box fit in the back seat (barely) and one in the trunk. This made me a road hazard for about 2.5 miles.
• Handling - that would be "Me" dragging each out of the car and up two half flights of steps and into my entry way. That counted for weight lifting for the day.
• Scheduling - they said they would come between 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. the next day.
• Next Day - he came at 12:45. Two toilets removed and one installed in 45 minutes. Other toilet needs a necessary part. It will cost $125 for parts and labor. Yikes! I've already spent $630 I didn't have for this effort. He does the "call the boss" thing and says they can get a cheaper patching up solution for me at $45. My response - "Would you do that to the toilet at your house?" His response - two second pause and a "well, it depends." The pause said it all. I'm going for the $125 solution, especially after seeing some more cracked plastic on the flange or whatever it is called.
• Later that Day - He says he will go pick up a part, finish a quick job and be back. I sit at home working on my computer waiting. I get a call at 5 ish saying that they are ready to schedule his return the next day. What? Yep, apparently he told them that when he left the house, but told me he was coming back. Come on - have enough guts to tell me what is up. I inform them that I have to re-arrange meetings the next day to be home.
• Second Day - They come at 1 p.m. right after I get home. Two new guys. They ask how much I was told the job would cost. I tell them and they act all bugged. They spend the next 45 minutes installing the new part and toilet making a big deal about how it should be a $300 job. And, yet I remain unmoved. They told me $125 the day before and I asked them if they had a problem with it. But, I'm writing the check as I say it.
• Tip - I'm not a total jerk or a total idiot. These guys have been in my house. They know the entrances and exits. They have my personal information on my check. They are each getting a tip. They seem pleased. After all, Home Depot gets the $125 and they get their additional cut of the deal as well.
• Pricey, yet Priceless - new toilets built for tall people, no leaking tanks, no need to replace neighbor's ceiling, two less appliances that need to replaced, and ....then of course the pricey part ($800 plus interest - cash back on the credit card = still pricey).

This post had to be long. That way it demonstrates a little of the ordeals we go through for those seemingly hidden and useless areas of our lives that are very important to our daily existence.

Should I have gotten the "Champion 4" toilet? After all, I live on a golf course. I opted for the Kohler - the bold look. It was taller and cheaper and the flush rating was an 8 (fairly close to 10). Perhaps I'll take a walk and pick up a golf ball and try it out.