It feels like forever since I've blogged. In some ways, I forgot that I had all of these blogs. Unfortunately, that isn't a good thing since I'm someone that has to write stuff down to decompress.
Right now it is 4:30 a.m.
I cannot sleep.
I have about 6-7 pages of "to dos" from work that I haven't been able to get to for two weeks. Partially, because I took care of my sister's six kids for a few days and partially because I'm experiencing "meeting mania." Literately, I've had about five meetings a day and I've had to lead most of them. So, it's hard to multi-task when you are engaged in leading a meeting.
Yesterday was the last straw. My first meeting was at 8:00 a.m. (which I arrived late to because traffic was bad and it took me 1.5 hours to get to work) and the last ended at 6:00 p.m. The two prior days were filled with meetings as well. All the energy is being sucked from me!
It wouldn't bug me, but I had just worked 20 hours the prior weekend to get through about 700 emails and different projects only to find myself overwhelmed again.
Really, right now is the perfect storm. I'm training two production managers, trying to lead a new contract that has tons of important initiatives attached to it and trying to pass along old responsibilities while gathering an entire slew of new responsibilities under my belt.
Why? Why am I doing this?
Right now I have to in order to move forward, get the salary increases, etc.
However, and this is a big however, I cannot sustain this way of living. What bothers me most is that I haven't had that time to think, ponder, and get inspiration. I must be in bionic mode all day and make split second decisions for people to move forward on implementing new processes, systems, partnerships, etc.
That being said, I am grateful. Grateful that I have a good job that is stable. Grateful that I'm entrusted with this responsibility. Grateful that I'm growing my talents.
Now it's 4:46 a.m. and I've got plenty of time to get ahead of the game. Plus, I get to be at home most of the day today and so I might even be able to have some laundry going on in the background and get a few minutes in on the treadmill.
So, I'm going to get off this blog and get to work.
2 comments:
Brielle was asking about you the other day, so I've been thinking about you...I'm sorry you've been feeling overwhelmed with work, it's not fun to feel like all you do is work...Scott has been feeling that way with school lately too...I hope it gets better, especially now that the holidays are just around the corner...may be you'll get to relax for a little while then...anyway, know that we are thinking of you and think you are awesome!
Good luck with it all. I always had more work to do at the end of the meetings instead of less. Seems like it should be the opposite, right? All my best!
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