Humbling Experiences

Here's another post from draft mode.
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At this time of year, I'm going through a lot of reflection about the past few months. They haven't been the greatest. And, yet the lessons learned are necessary for making 2011 a success.

In the past couple of weeks I've had an unemployed friend cry on my shoulder about feeling useless. I've accompanied another to the store because they were too embarrassed to go alone and use "food stamps" in front of everyone. Another friend shared how she was on the verge of losing her home to foreclosure and she hadn't found a job in six months. Another starts every single day with a slew of phone calls from credit agencies and the calls pile up to a couple hundred a day. In my mind, that is the equivalent to having school yard bullies run up to you every 10 minutes throughout the day calling you names and making you feel stupid.

I've tried to help. I've hugged, I've cried, I've given until I had no more to give. And yet, it often doesn't feel like enough. In some cases, I've taken on their despair, their debt, their embarrassment. Though not fully, I have felt their pain. It becomes my pain.

It is all necessary.

Humbling even.

To feel those feelings. To be there even when it is tiring, draining, and tough.

My empathy has grown and judgemental comments come out of my mouth a lot less.

I'm frugal. I can't take friends out to dinner or contribute like I had before, but I can now make a fairly good stew and am getting creative with the food storage closet.

My gratitude for my congregation has gone up because their help has directly and indirectly helped me. People quietly give more than we know and I know that now.

I am content with fewer possessions and can keep some of my techno gadgets for longer than in the past.

My outfits are getting old, but I'm learning how to accessorize from my closet to give them a fresh look even if to hide a hole or a stain.

I'm re-learning how to write more "thank you" notes and follow up with people faster, even if I've been in non-stop meetings all day and am mentally exhausted at the end of each day. Why? Because I'm re-realizing how important it is to get daily support and love.

None of this is new. But, I'm re-learning things that I've learned in the past in deeper ways. Meaningful ways.

I'm not out of it yet and more importantly, most of my friends aren't out of it yet.

But, they will get through. The friend that was going to lose the house called and said they are giving her time to straighten things out and a great job came along the same week!

Miracles still happen, but sometimes we have to go through humbling experiences along the way.

Some of us are hoping that we can get fully humble so "this too shall pass" and that we'll carry those lessons with us when times look up.

Here's hoping all is well with you.