Full Brain as of late

My brain has been over-occupied the last few months and I really haven't desired to write even if I've had a moment. But, figured I'd catch up the three people that read my blog on the goings on in my head.

I've taken on A LOT of responsibility at work. In a way, I'm in a perfect storm. I've written about this before, but it bears repeating for context.

I've been training two managers to take over some of my previous role. I'm leading the efforts to design two new systems - one is an online development tool in conjunction with some other organizations. One is for games and simulations specifically associated with training adults. Additionally, I'm leading the day-to-day operations of a large contract team. Ok, well, not that large yet, but it will be about 18-20 people. I also get to lead efforts to re-design our processes and standards. Think business process re-engineering, CMMI, web 2.0, content management, and learning strategies all wrapped into one.

Bottom line: exciting and tiring. Lots of people, lots of processes, lots of systems and no time to really focus on any one thing.

Yes, there are issues. Yes, my brain is full. Yes, I'm about five pages of to do lists behind.

But, it's been invigorating.

It's taken 3-4 months, but I'm finally at a point where the two managers are able to take on some of my projects and run with them. The emails for the new roles are going up while the emails from the old responsibilities are going down.

I'm experiencing the joy of passing on responsibilities to someone else knowing that I did the best I could do, but that they have talents and skills to take it to the next step. I'm not jealous. I feel like a proud teacher. They will succeed and I will move on and succeed in my endeavors. My goal isn't to become indispensable in a position. My goal is to become an indispensable forward thinker and strategic leader. But, I can ensure others become indispensable in their areas of expertise. However, at times it is difficult to let go of something when you put so much work into "getting it right." I sometimes forget that there are multiple ways to get something right and things will move on without me.

One of the most frustrating thing about being busy with the real world of implementing, is that I haven't taken time to stay up late reading books that I enjoy. Granted, I can listen to scriptures on my phone, but I haven't taken the time to download any other business, finance, or leadership books and I'd really like to do so. Then again, I'm living and breathing what the books talk about every day and doesn't that account for more than reading about it?

Regardless, life has been full. It's been tough. My personal life needs improvement and sometimes I just don't have the energy to improve it.

At church I sit behind a piano for two hours playing songs for the kids. It has it's pros and cons, but I'm realizing that every time I have a lot going on my in personal and professional life, I get a piano playing calling at church. Interesting. At least I'm given only what I can handle.

What would I do if life calmed down? I don't know. It hasn't been calm for such a long time that I think it would throw me off. The constant challenge keeps me invigorated and forward thinking.

On the other hand, personal relationships need to come more to the forefront because that is what really matters.

As usual, I'm realizing through writing this that I'm in a constant state of imbalance, but always learning from the process.

I just realized that I'm rambling and should probably get off the computer and get ready for another day at the office. Or, should I go in a little late and contact a friend? In light of what I just wrote about, perhaps it is time to write a note to someone.

Word Eatage

So, I will have to eat my words on the last post.

Yes, it doesn't take long to write. However, this thing called the brain can get overwhelmed at times and in those five minutes that are free, a post will not come forth.

Such has been my last few weeks. I've worked over 115 hours (officially), but unofficially it's been about 125-130 hours. And, it's required a lot of focus on reading documents, analysis, and decision making that impacts a lot of peoples lives as far as their day jobs are concerned.

I'm still not done with the entire process, and along with that we are hiring more people internally and I've been trying to catch up on all of the emails. It took 15 hours last weekend to get caught up - meaning only about 100 emails left in the work inbox when I started work last Monday.

Wow. I'm too old for this. I remember working 90 hour weeks all the time in my 20s and juggling 3 jobs. Now, I can't make it. No more super woman multi-tasking coming from me.

Ok, well, maybe a bit of it behind the scenes.

Where did those lazy days of summer go? When did we actually have lazy days of summer? I have no idea when they actually occurred. It must have been sometime in junior high.

and so I digress...

Now it's 11 p.m. on a Saturday night and all I did today was work, walk, take toilets to the dump, eat at a Caribbean restaurant, go to the post office, track my finances, cut my man's hair, and read part of a book and take a 10:00 p.m. stroll in the moonlight.

Hmmm. Now, what am I actually complaining about?

To Do list Brain

So, I'm assuming that everyone has read about the guy with the "beautiful mind" and about those people that can remember dates, events, and names from everyday that they've ever been alive.

Sorry to disappoint, but you already know this fact - I am not one of those people. I will admit to knowing only about three phone numbers, but since my phone holds about 200 I will keep praying that it doesn't falter.

I am plagued with my own special brain. I have "to do" list brain. Everything that happens to me every minute of the day goes through my sensors (ears/eyes) and somehow translates into a possible "to do" for my list. Whether it is amazing idea or website address that I need to add to my idea list or delicious account or a memory of a past experience to post to my blog or someone that I should write a thank you note to or an idea of another business to create or even to remember to think of others in kinder ways....it somehow always translates into another "to do."

Over the years I have translated this list into notebooks used at work, little artsy books that I carry in my purse, web widgets on iGoogle and Google Notepad, official Franklin Planners with special inserts that never quite fit my life, electronic Outlook lists on the work computer, Ta Da lists (website), or a cheap notebook...all used in an attempt to manage this onslaught of "to dos" racing through my head.

For now, I have come across a solution that has worked for about two months. That typically means it is a habit, correct? It's Excel. Yep, the excel spreadsheet. At first it was one scrolling list with correctly labeled columns - Tasks, Type (personal, work, research, financial, blog, exercise, etc.), Notes, date completed. But, that got a little unwieldy.

Now I'm up to about 5-6 separate worksheets so that I can manage things in small chunks. The last tab is "completed items" and I just copy/paste the "to dos" to that worksheet when I'm done.

Sound time consuming? No, it actually saves me from constantly copying over old to do lists by hand. Since I'm in front of a computer about 12 hours a day that is the best way for now.

Whew. Why do I care? I enjoy documenting life. Seeing the patterns. Analyzing what I spend my time doing (another blog entry to come). Finding ways to make some things more efficient so I free myself up for stuff that is more meaningful to me.

Alas, writing this down makes me realize that this is kind of a nerdy thing to do, but it will be done nonetheless. Anything to get these things out of my mind and on to paper/electrons will help this mind get freed up a little.

So, time to cross off the entry - "Blog - to do lists" - completed 2/13/2009

Brain

This is my brain. This is my brain not on drugs.


Well, I went to the neurologist today to find out what next steps to take with my brain. Something showed up in my body and brain scan and so I was able to give her the CD of pictures and get an MRI set up for next week. She was able to see that there was indeed something on the brain and so hopefully I will be able to find out what it is.


Last night I broke down about it, but right now I'm just anxious to find out what it is and fix the problem.


Maybe we need these wake up calls every once in a while to appreciate life. However, I hope that is all that it is. I am anxious to accomplish so much more than I have so far in life.






Let's pray that all is well.