My brain has been over-occupied the last few months and I really haven't desired to write even if I've had a moment. But, figured I'd catch up the three people that read my blog on the goings on in my head.
I've taken on A LOT of responsibility at work. In a way, I'm in a perfect storm. I've written about this before, but it bears repeating for context.
I've been training two managers to take over some of my previous role. I'm leading the efforts to design two new systems - one is an online development tool in conjunction with some other organizations. One is for games and simulations specifically associated with training adults. Additionally, I'm leading the day-to-day operations of a large contract team. Ok, well, not that large yet, but it will be about 18-20 people. I also get to lead efforts to re-design our processes and standards. Think business process re-engineering, CMMI, web 2.0, content management, and learning strategies all wrapped into one.
Bottom line: exciting and tiring. Lots of people, lots of processes, lots of systems and no time to really focus on any one thing.
Yes, there are issues. Yes, my brain is full. Yes, I'm about five pages of to do lists behind.
But, it's been invigorating.
It's taken 3-4 months, but I'm finally at a point where the two managers are able to take on some of my projects and run with them. The emails for the new roles are going up while the emails from the old responsibilities are going down.
I'm experiencing the joy of passing on responsibilities to someone else knowing that I did the best I could do, but that they have talents and skills to take it to the next step. I'm not jealous. I feel like a proud teacher. They will succeed and I will move on and succeed in my endeavors. My goal isn't to become indispensable in a position. My goal is to become an indispensable forward thinker and strategic leader. But, I can ensure others become indispensable in their areas of expertise. However, at times it is difficult to let go of something when you put so much work into "getting it right." I sometimes forget that there are multiple ways to get something right and things will move on without me.
One of the most frustrating thing about being busy with the real world of implementing, is that I haven't taken time to stay up late reading books that I enjoy. Granted, I can listen to scriptures on my phone, but I haven't taken the time to download any other business, finance, or leadership books and I'd really like to do so. Then again, I'm living and breathing what the books talk about every day and doesn't that account for more than reading about it?
Regardless, life has been full. It's been tough. My personal life needs improvement and sometimes I just don't have the energy to improve it.
At church I sit behind a piano for two hours playing songs for the kids. It has it's pros and cons, but I'm realizing that every time I have a lot going on my in personal and professional life, I get a piano playing calling at church. Interesting. At least I'm given only what I can handle.
What would I do if life calmed down? I don't know. It hasn't been calm for such a long time that I think it would throw me off. The constant challenge keeps me invigorated and forward thinking.
On the other hand, personal relationships need to come more to the forefront because that is what really matters.
As usual, I'm realizing through writing this that I'm in a constant state of imbalance, but always learning from the process.
I just realized that I'm rambling and should probably get off the computer and get ready for another day at the office. Or, should I go in a little late and contact a friend? In light of what I just wrote about, perhaps it is time to write a note to someone.
