In Memory of Holly Williams

Tonight I opened email to find a message stating that my friend Holly Williams had passed away. She had found out she had lymphoma in November 2008. Though treatable, she started getting worse, and in the process of starting chemo they found out that she had pancreatic cancer. We had dinner with her in June 2009 and she stated that she had 4-6 months to live at that time.




We didn't think she would last that long and I think I blogged about how it felt like we were sitting with someone that was already on their way to the other side.



Holly was a fairly private and quiet person. She was a researcher at the Smithsonian Institute for 30 years or so. We frequently referred to her as "the bug lady" and just this past year I realized (after more detailed discussions) that she was an expert in different species of flies. She is one of the few experts in the world on this area, but one would never know it. I stole her picture from the Smithsonian website and it is clear from her t-shirt that she loves these things!

Holly always invited us to all of these single events for those older than 31 in our church. We went to various sites around DC, a few canoe/kayaking trips, and even a skipjack excursion in Annapolis, Maryland. On a more personal level, we would go out to eat with her every few months to catch up on politics, current events, and general friendship. The food was typically of the Lebanese, Afghan, Peruvian or Thai variety. Hole in the wall restaurants and no food chains allowed.

We could never quite figure out Holly's age, but knew that she was a lot older than we were, and far more physically fit. She had had seizures years ago and was on medication most of her life. I think this was the motivation to riding her bike to work in Washington, DC. Rain or shine, winter or summer - she rode her bike to work up and down the Arlington hills and into the city for all those years.

She was a convert to the Mormon church and lovingly spoke of the boss that introduced her to her religion. She volunteered weekly at the Washington, DC temple and was a firm believer in emergency preparedness, food storage, and political activism.

She was mad before she died. She was frustrated by the limitations of her body. I've seen this before when someone knows they are leaving this world, but want to keep living their fulfilling life. It is hard to watch, but I know that she lived a full life and still maintained hope and faith until the end. She didn't want it to be her time, but she prepared for it regardless of her desires.

I am grateful for her friendship and her appreciation for our relationship. Sometimes I feel guilty that she valued our relationship more than I put into it. I know there are people that I wish to spend more time with too that have others in their lives that are more important. I've decided that that is ok. We all play different roles in each others lives. And, those roles change over time.

This is just my short appreciation letter to Holly.

She is at peace now and I'm grateful to have been a small part of her life.