It's been "a day" or "one of those days." It's not that everything went wrong, but it's been a culmination of feelings over a week that have come to a head I guess. I've gone through a lot of emotions, experiences and drama lately and so I think I just need a break. I've decided not to go into the office tomorrow after my car appointment, but still haven't told my boss. Ooops!
Today was "a day" primarily because it felt like a lot of the interactions that I had were strange. It felt like I was saying the same things I always say and reacting in the same ways that I aways react, but people responded differently. Remember, this is from my point of view. People would respond with "whoa, that was to the point" or "okay, so you feel strongly about that" or other comments that implied I was being sharp, rude, or high stress. After a while I realized that I should just be quiet because I must have been coming across in a different way than I intended.
Hmmm. I don't know what to think of it. Perhaps I am a little stressed. I've had a change in wedding plans this past week, but felt good about that. I've dealt with LOTS of project issues this week that have required hours of interaction with people developing products as well as high level people creating political issues. That pretty much drains me. My boss was out, but sending lots of emails and tasks. I've eaten way too much Halloween candy and had to take the rest to work to get it out of the house. Sorry trick-or-treaters...I'm not buying more to replace it. The candy gave me headaches and then I exercised for shorter periods of time resulting in gaining back a couple of pounds I so religiously worked off. And, I just don't want to clean the house even though it's only me and how messy could it be anyway? But, it does need cleaning.
This is all happening, of course, after I have made goals in my head to be a little kinder, a little more helpful and little more patient. Sometimes these expectations create more frustration because the difference between what I am and what I could be is more apparently. Thus, a difficult balance of having patience with self while struggling through the re-growth process. Alas, I'm starting to wax philosophical, aye?
Sigh.
Moment of silence.
I'm feeling better already. But, I'll put on the other tennis shoe and get out on my walk. It' finally sunny, crisp and autumn outside and I want to go take it all in for an hour while it's still light outside.
