2013 - the year of the lack of blogging

Wow! Did 2013 just come and go?

Thank goodness!

It wasn't one of my favorite years. In fact, in many ways it was one of the worst yet.

Health challenges, furlough challenges, work craziness, house repairs and selling challenges, death of loved ones, and even some despair about just about everything going on.

Yet, some good things happened along the way - relationships are intact, marketing skills are improved, awards won, and I felt closer to family along the way.

So, what will 2014 bring?

It started off with a disturbing phone call and the water heater breaking down. Oh, and feeling like a sick zombie in bed for a week.

Unbelievable.

But, I'm in good spirits. Secret happinesses have already come this week. I'm closing out a ton of projects at work and will be able to focus on 2-3 big priorities. Plus, I've got BIG goals.

It's not all bad. It's half good.

There will be challenges this year, but I'm ready. The blogging might not increase. I'm shirking back a bit and not listening to what everyone else is doing. I need to re-find myself.

Here's to 2014!

Irony, Time and New Year

Today I'm home sick. Nothing to pass on to someone else. I think I had a reaction to a medicine. But, who knows really. It could have been that bad orange juice coming out of Brazil that was on the news this morning. Time will tell.

The good thing about feeling sick is that I'm home and only partially working. It is wonderful that you can be a completely competent conference call participant while laying on the bed feeling like a zombie. As long as you say "yes" at the appropriate places, ask a question or two and respond with a follow-up email, all is well in the world of work. Lucky for me I have over 300 sick hours that are just sitting there for times like these...which I hope will be rare.

Another good thing about being sick is the time it provides me to think! Really think. Answer the big questions -what am I doing with my life? Why am I doing it? Should I be doing it? What do I value most? ...and the list of questions go on.

I'm wanting something different for 2012 and beyond. I want time to see friends, time to share insight into health, religion, money, art, and exercise. I want to really get my business off the ground and not let the day job overtake everything. I want a family above all else. I want to travel beyond all the day trips I'm taking. I want to be out of debt and invested in the right things. Perhaps I'll sell my house. Perhaps not. Either way, it is time to move beyond these small walls into something that allows room for growth and creativity.

There is one fact of life that I'm sure of - it never goes as I plan. That is OK because it has turned out fine. But, that doesn't mean the anticipation is easy. I've had a session or two of tears when I realize that I'm way off course in some areas and feel like some opportunities passed me by that others take for granted. Yet, I've gotten to have experiences that others may never know.

Gratitude comes back when I remember these things.

So, today is rather ironic. I'm going to take a meal to a young woman that is giving birth to twins. Right after calling her, I called my own doctor to find out what I should do about my reaction to my medicine. Medicine that is supposedly helping my body get healthy so I can have kids. One person is on bed rest and I'm just laying on my bed for an unknown reason.

Ah well. All in good time they say while also hinting that time is of the essence.

For now, it is a new year and time to make the most of it.

Cheers!

Day 1 - the real start to removal

So, today was the real day #1 of my "removing excess baggage" week. This past weekend was prep, warm-up, or pre-test, if you will.

I've made a schedule...which is, of course, on my other computer. So, I will post that later.

However, I'm off to a great start!

Interested in details?

5:15 a.m. Alarm rang. I swiped it to turn off mode. After all, I was making a greeting card in my dream and I had to go to sleep for a few minutes to finish this virtual card. Weird, yes? But, I often have to go back to sleep for a few minutes to get closure to my dreams.

5:25 a.m. Guilt and getting up.

5:30 a.m. Walked to the gym. Loud morning - birds chirping, bugs buzzing and a few stray squirrels running about.

5:38 a.m. Signed in and lifted weights for 40 minutes. Treadmill for 12 minutes. Only three people at the gym and no one on duty. This could be my new favorite time!

7:00 a.m. Got home and started to do work for an hour. After all, I have to keep up while I'm out which is why I'm never gone too long.

8:00 a.m. Prayers, scriptures, and a little nap.

9:00 a.m. Conference call with someone from another government agency. It went on for an hour and I had to be engaged the entire time!

10:30 a.m. Excited and nervous. I am a camelon of colors right now and am VERY nervous about being seen in a swimsuit after a year out of major sun and jelly legs. But, dressed in the suit and swimming shorts anyway and walked back down the hill to the pool.

Ahhh, what a wonderful stroke of luck! A secret happiness came my way. At 11:00 a.m., I walked out to the pool deck and there were three senior citizens there to swim their laps and one lifeguard too busy inspecting her own belly button ring to really worry about me. Plus, one look at her and I knew that I'd have to take care of my own life if it became endangered in the 3.5 feet of water.

As luck would have it, the entire neighborhood decided not to come to the pool until noon! So, I had a full half hour of laps before one woman decided I was her new best friend and we basically did water aerobics across the pool as we talked. I was able to get my last half hour in when she left and five minutes drying in the sun was enough for me. Sunbathers and kids floated in as I floated out...

1:00 p.m. Lunch and errands.

4:00 Barnes and Noble - to go through one hour of emails (that was one of my goals) and to get out of the house. Not that I was in it at all today.

5:30 p.m. Dinner, which was mostly watermelon ...on this almost 100 degree day. 111 with the heat index I suppose.

6:00 p.m. - Cleaned the refrigerator. Ok, so it isn't very full and it is already clean so it took all of five minutes. This ended up being a goal for today and a very short family home evening activity. Ha. Start small, right?

The day isn't over yet, but I've exercised three times (remove excess weight), deleted emails (remove excess info), and cleaned the refrigerator (removed excess food).

Now, tonight I just have one more goal - scan for two hours. Scan photos, old photo album pages, etc. That will take care of the "remove excess paper" goal.

I promise not to write a long winded post like this the rest of the week, but wanted to show that I started off the day well and stuck to the plan and still allowed some wiggle room for other fun.

Bday Thoughts

Regardless of the obvious aged-ness that has befallen me, I am glad that I am now an even number again. It is always unsettling being an odd age. Today I mentioned this to a woman at church and she is the same way, though we both make exception for the number 5 because it seems like a solid number despite its odd-ness.

So, this weekend is the big 38!

Lest that shock anyone, I can say that in my mind I am still 28 years old. Some people still think that is my age. Of course, after I sit down they can actually see the gray hairs that aren't obvious as I tower over them. In fact, I can even see the transition mid-sentence with some people because suddenly they are looking at the part in my hair instead of my uni-brow.

Well, either way, I'm glad it was a good little tiny celebration. That being said, the older we get it seems to be more and more important to appreciate these occasions. I'll admit to being sad this morning that there was only one note on the Facebook wall. But, by the afternoon there were a few more comments. Now, I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad. Rather, it is an awareness on my part of how many birthdays I've missed over the last couple of years. My procrastination in this area must stop now! It is amazing how little tiny Facebook wall comments, little Twitters, and little text messages can make ones day. And, who can't do that for someone? I certainly must not use that excuse anymore. (Note: my iPhone is acting up though and so I will be a little behind on responding to voicemail since they are arriving to me a few days late. No, this is a separate issue than my phone phobia)

Luckily, I've only had a handful of amazing birthdays in my life. So, I'm easy to please. But, I think I'll do a "Memory Lane" entry about those experiences since I'm sure it will take an entire entry.

Either way, birthdays are good days for reflection. Have I accomplished what I need to at this point in life? Am I moving in the right direction? What regrets can I turn into future goals? Make up lost time? Will I get the "lose weight" goal off my to do list this year? When will I really start my own company? Will I have twins someday like I want to? Should I pay someone to clean my house once in a while? Will I ever buy a piano? When will I move out of this condo? Will cookies ever taste gross to me? Will I love people better? How do I consistently put God, people and service first?

Ok, enough reflection and time for bed.

Lookin forward to another good year.

Happy New Year 2009!

It's already a new year! Wow! 2008 has come and gone. It was a year full of goals and I met quite a few of them. Unfortunately, I didn't meet two or three of my largest goals, but I'm confident that I will do so by the middle of 2009. In fact, now I don't make yearly goals. I make six month goal charts and they are set up similar to the categories that are listed in Provident Living...though I started them long before that website ever existed. My parents taught us about this concept long ago and I just kind of held on to it.

Perhaps I should put the goals here, but that means this post will most likely remain in draft mode seen only by me. Most of them will remain private, but some are obvious - lose weight, eat healthy, max the 401k, pay down debt, rent out my condo, read more scriptures and good books, serve more, love better, work smarter, act on ideas, and enjoy life.

Today we went to a movie (Benjamin Button - sad, meaningful, and thought provoking come to mind) and one of my friends said something a few people have said this past week - "I'm so glad 2008 is over. 2009 is going to be a great year."

Yes, 2009 will be a great year! Thank goodness that we have year cycles. It gives us a legitimate excuse with society to start over, change, and improve upon the past. January is the one time of year where it seems ok to share this fact with everyone.

Good luck to you this year. Let's hope that we all make it the best and if we haven't met all of our goals in the next 12 months, at least we have comfort in knowing that 2010 will come with another chance.

Happy New Year and New Resolve in 2009!

A Day

It's been "a day" or "one of those days." It's not that everything went wrong, but it's been a culmination of feelings over a week that have come to a head I guess. I've gone through a lot of emotions, experiences and drama lately and so I think I just need a break. I've decided not to go into the office tomorrow after my car appointment, but still haven't told my boss. Ooops!

Today was "a day" primarily because it felt like a lot of the interactions that I had were strange. It felt like I was saying the same things I always say and reacting in the same ways that I aways react, but people responded differently. Remember, this is from my point of view. People would respond with "whoa, that was to the point" or "okay, so you feel strongly about that" or other comments that implied I was being sharp, rude, or high stress. After a while I realized that I should just be quiet because I must have been coming across in a different way than I intended.

Hmmm. I don't know what to think of it. Perhaps I am a little stressed. I've had a change in wedding plans this past week, but felt good about that. I've dealt with LOTS of project issues this week that have required hours of interaction with people developing products as well as high level people creating political issues. That pretty much drains me. My boss was out, but sending lots of emails and tasks. I've eaten way too much Halloween candy and had to take the rest to work to get it out of the house. Sorry trick-or-treaters...I'm not buying more to replace it. The candy gave me headaches and then I exercised for shorter periods of time resulting in gaining back a couple of pounds I so religiously worked off. And, I just don't want to clean the house even though it's only me and how messy could it be anyway? But, it does need cleaning.

This is all happening, of course, after I have made goals in my head to be a little kinder, a little more helpful and little more patient. Sometimes these expectations create more frustration because the difference between what I am and what I could be is more apparently. Thus, a difficult balance of having patience with self while struggling through the re-growth process. Alas, I'm starting to wax philosophical, aye?

Sigh.

Moment of silence.

I'm feeling better already. But, I'll put on the other tennis shoe and get out on my walk. It' finally sunny, crisp and autumn outside and I want to go take it all in for an hour while it's still light outside.