My Sacred Grove

OK, I'll admit to mistakenly calling this post "My Sacred Groove" at first. Which, in this case, is the place I go to have quiet time and get "into the right groove" and so I guess grove or groove works, right?

In the land of trees (Virginia), it is great to have a wide open space that no one can build on as a result of the Civil War.

It is the one place I can see the horizon in every direction. I feel FREE...

It is a blessing in my life.


Now I'm introducing close friends to this spot. The place that I've walked and thought, cried and laughed, remembered and regretted and hoped and despaired. I will keep bringing them because maybe it can be their spot too.

I've written about it on this blog a lot, but I had to write it again. I've been their twice this weekend. Once with a friend and once by myself. Just the wind, the sun, the grass, the bugs, the deer and amazing clouds.

...a thought from a blog

Once in a while I hit the "Next Blog" button at the top of Blogger just to see where it goes. I read a few entries and came across this paragraph:

"The year before last, I met some of the most wonderful people in my life. But it is last year that I understood their significance. What they meant to me. What was their importance and what priorities needed to be set to make myself happy. I found my happiness. I made settlements with my expectations, understood what was not a fairytale and what was reality. And loved my life for it."

What a wonderful little reflection. I don't know why, but it made me take a moment and think about people in my life and how some have become more significant over time and some have dropped off. And, I've realized that it is OK if some drop off.

Speaking of dropping off, I clicked a button and lost the blog I got this quote from - so guess some of these little reflections are important to capture in that one glimpse we have to find them. That probably contains a life lesson right there.

Ah-well, back for a few more minutes of Saturday morning sleep.

Quiet

I'll admit to being a little quiet lately on the RebeckerOnline front. I have a lot going on inside and outside of my head. It's like I'm going through a big huge reflective period of life while de-toxing from the extremely stressful last few work years.

I see why it is difficult to take these reflective moments on because it forces dealing with reality.

What am I going to do the rest of my life? Will I have a family? Have I spent my time wisely? Do I help the right people? What was I supposed to do with this time and did I do it? Am I comparing myself to myself or to other people and their seemingly perfect lives? Why am I not rich yet? Should I become an entrepreneur sooner rather than later? Why do I relapse and eat entire (large) bags of peanut M&Ms just because they are sitting there? Oh, wait, why did I feel the need to save 4 cents an ounce and buy the big bag when I know full well I'm a peanut M&M -oholic? Who are these people on Facebook that go to the mall everyday shopping? And, why do they have the need to share? Should I be selling that book on Amazon or keep it to share with a friend? Why can't I talk to my friends sometimes? Why can I become such a hermit when I need to deal with issues?  When did I start liking tv so much? Why do I work in a cube farm? Is the world going to end in 2012 or is the history channel creating spin like all the other news channels? How can I be of better service to others and at the same time just plain get away from people? Why do I want to get away from people, especially since I'm a person? Why can't I write like Seth Godin and be a good "Linchpin?" Why does he have thousands of followers of his blog? Do I want that? I don't know.

Why does my life never go the way I planned?

The what, where, why and how questions are rarely helpful to me. But, once in a while I do ask the questions.

Geesh! Re-reading this I feel like a complainer.

Regardless, I'm grateful for those quiet friends. Those that I can go back to after not talking for three months, a year, five years or whatever. I'm grateful for those that continually try even if I'm not mentally ready. Even if I'm fighting battles in my head alone. I'm grateful for random family visits (which I've had over the last few weeks) where I have real conversations with people that must be part of my life even if they didn't choose it. And, part of me knows that they would have chosen to be friends even if we weren't family. I'm grateful for past co-workers that invite me to their lake house for a few hours and I drive back feeling like I experienced a week long vacation.

Right now I need to quietly deal with a few things, but I'm anxious for the next phase.

A beautiful little quote to remember:

"You can fly, but let go of that cocoon of yours."

Ah, but its still a little safer in here...

Olympic opener Reflections - Torches, Dreams and Missing Man

This Olympic Ceremony will most likely stick in my mind longer than most.

Sure, there were great reporters, athletes and panoramic visions of Canada the beautiful. Sure, there were cheery people from all over the world and smiling athletes expecting that large gold coin.

This was no Beijing, aye? Sore-ey. I just had to add that.

It wasn't supposed to be and who can compete with a country of billions that spent billions to wow us with a dramatic display of precision.

The Canadian opener wasn't about precision and wasn't about big money. Or, at least it didn't appear to be so.

I thought it was artfully presented - simple, beautiful and thought provoking. Take a look at some shots from NBC - http://www.nbcolympics.com/ceremonies/index.html - throughout the coming weeks.

I also found this great link with little clips from the ceremony - http://www.mahalo.com/2010-olympics-opening-ceremony. I loved the whale portion where they utilized the 3D technology that is so "in" vogue right now.

The Olympics started out with one missing this year.

Nodar Kumaritashvili, a Georgian luge slider, died during practice. It was shocking to see the video and realize that all of my personal fears surrounding the luge were realized. It happened so quickly and there was a wrench in my heart watching someone pass on from this world.

The moment of silence for him during the ceremony wasn't quite enough. Sometimes I think those moments should be two minutes. At the end of the first minute your mind finally starts to reflect and at that point appreciation for life kicks in and it would be nice to think about that a little longer.

In a strange way, I am grateful that the fourth leg of the cauldron didn't go up during the torch lighting ceremony. It created another moment of silence. In some ways it resembled the missing man format ritual performed to honor the fallen comrade (air man).

It ended up, for me, being a reminder that not everyone that came prepared would perform. And, that regardless of talents and preparation, life can leave us at any time.

So for me, this Olympics starts with some reflection, appreciation for life and ...with some pretty cool dreams of me performing amazing feats on my virtual snowboard.

Let the games begin! - and end with life for all!

Bday Thoughts

Regardless of the obvious aged-ness that has befallen me, I am glad that I am now an even number again. It is always unsettling being an odd age. Today I mentioned this to a woman at church and she is the same way, though we both make exception for the number 5 because it seems like a solid number despite its odd-ness.

So, this weekend is the big 38!

Lest that shock anyone, I can say that in my mind I am still 28 years old. Some people still think that is my age. Of course, after I sit down they can actually see the gray hairs that aren't obvious as I tower over them. In fact, I can even see the transition mid-sentence with some people because suddenly they are looking at the part in my hair instead of my uni-brow.

Well, either way, I'm glad it was a good little tiny celebration. That being said, the older we get it seems to be more and more important to appreciate these occasions. I'll admit to being sad this morning that there was only one note on the Facebook wall. But, by the afternoon there were a few more comments. Now, I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad. Rather, it is an awareness on my part of how many birthdays I've missed over the last couple of years. My procrastination in this area must stop now! It is amazing how little tiny Facebook wall comments, little Twitters, and little text messages can make ones day. And, who can't do that for someone? I certainly must not use that excuse anymore. (Note: my iPhone is acting up though and so I will be a little behind on responding to voicemail since they are arriving to me a few days late. No, this is a separate issue than my phone phobia)

Luckily, I've only had a handful of amazing birthdays in my life. So, I'm easy to please. But, I think I'll do a "Memory Lane" entry about those experiences since I'm sure it will take an entire entry.

Either way, birthdays are good days for reflection. Have I accomplished what I need to at this point in life? Am I moving in the right direction? What regrets can I turn into future goals? Make up lost time? Will I get the "lose weight" goal off my to do list this year? When will I really start my own company? Will I have twins someday like I want to? Should I pay someone to clean my house once in a while? Will I ever buy a piano? When will I move out of this condo? Will cookies ever taste gross to me? Will I love people better? How do I consistently put God, people and service first?

Ok, enough reflection and time for bed.

Lookin forward to another good year.

You remind me of P. Diddy!

So, I was told that I reminded someone of P. Diddy the other day! I don't know whether to laugh or to go into deep reflection about this. I really don't know much about him, but have found out that he is a hip-hop mogul and is quite the business man. I wouldn't mind if I was thought to be an amazing business woman, but I have not achieved that success yet. Anyone that knows me well knows that I probably have 1 rap/hip-hop type song out of the 2,500 items on my iPOD and for me that pretty much covers the genre.

No, the reason they were reminded of P. Diddy is because I wear a lot of vests. His appear to be regular suit vests, but mine are more in the line of thin sweater vests. The woman thought that I was copying P.Diddy by wearing the sweater vests. Alas, me copying a rapper? Hmmm. That's a new one. Since he is almost the same age as me, I'm inclined to believe he copied me because I have found evidence of times past that my sweater vest habit has been around for many years.

Either way, it was an interesting enough comment to cause me a few minutes of reflection and posting.