Clarence or George - on life and earning wings

One of the most beloved movies of all times contains a story of great hope and a message of individual greatness.

The two main players - Clarence Odbody (Henry Travers) and George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) make that possible through their mutual need for each other. Clarence, the guardian angel, needs to earn his wings (though he somehow got to George without them) and George, a beaten down man that needs to be reminded of what he has to offer the world as he prepares to plunge to his death in a raging river.

Clarence (Angel Second Class) walks George through a scenario of "life without George" in the small town of Bedford Falls, which would have become Pottersville without George's influence. As Clarence stated:

"One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there it leaves an awfully big hole."

It's Clarence's job to ensure that George realizes his individual greatness and that he must continue through the struggle until that time when he would again experience success, happiness and higher self-worth.

George has a job too - to accept Clarence as his personal helper and to have faith in what Clarence is telling him. George has to allow Clarence to give him the perspective he cannot have for himself.


Which are we in our lives right now - A Clarence, a George? A little of both?


I'm feeling a little like Clarence right now - an angel second class trying to "earn my wings." Sometimes I fail at it and put the wrong things first. Sometimes I don't give my all in helping lift others hearts. Sometimes my mind can't handle doing so.

There are A LOT of George's out there right now for various reasons. Personal issues, money issues, heart break. Real despair. Deep sorrow. Plummeting self-esteem.

Are we an anxious Clarence eager to help? Do we tough out the tough times with the George's around us?

Or, do we knit our eyebrows together and say "Oh, I'm so sorry that you are going through that" and return home to our own comfortable lives of pleasant meals, shopping excursions, book clubs, and laps at the pool? After all, we need to take care of ourselves, right?

It is a difficult balance - this thing of enjoying ourselves, staying balanced, and being a Clarence.

Many of us are mixtures of both Clarence and George. In fact, all of us should be in some way. We all have our weaknesses or despair, but sometimes those hardships lessen in our lives. At those points we are strong enough to be Clarence, who even admits to being a little weak himself.

Just thinking out loud right now and don't suspect there is a point here except to always be  aware and ...to be friends to all in need.

As Clarence said to George - "No man is a failure who has friends."

Thank you for being mine.

To Dos - despairs vs. regrets

Today on a walk, I had a little despair. It was current and so I wouldn't call it a regret. Most regrets seem to be associated with something that you wish you did in the past. My little despair came from a current frustration that may create future regret - the endless inspiration of adding to the to do list and never quite finishing it because I keep adding to it.

I guess this could fit into the category of "so many ideas - so little time" or more realistic - "so many ideas - so little energy."

I woke up at 3:45 a.m. the other morning because there were too many to dos scrolling through my head and I couldn't just stop them. Ugh! It would be great if I were producing amazing things from all of these inspirations and lists, but I feel like I'm in constant failure mode. The interesting thing is that about 70% of the to dos are ideas I'm generating and turning into action items. The rest are actually from other people. Part of me calls this proactive behavior and the other part of me is wondering if this is ADD on turbo charge.

Luckily, I've learned a trick or two that I need to apply on a daily basis. I'm listing two below and only two! Otherwise, it will turn into a long and unwieldy list of expectations for myself.

1 - Sticky note with three items - putting three or four must do items on a sticky (Post-It) note each morning and striving just to accomplish those three things. And, being ok if one or two of them are really simple (email so and so or take out the trash). This approach is such a relief and helps deal with adjusting internal expectations.

2 - Decide on a "stop doing" list - the book called Good to Great talks about creating a stop doing list. Take things off that are a waste of your time or don't fit in to your overall goals. Time is important, what will we not do with it? I like this idea.

Tonight I feel good. Not only did I do a little work, take a little walk, watch a little movie, participate on a little panel, but ...I also blogged about every major idea I thought of on the walk.

Now, tomorrow I'm just expecting to 1.) work for 2-3 hours 2.) take a walk and 3.) hmmmm. take a little break from the To Do list and the associated little despairs.

Faith is not a feeling, it is a decision

This weekend I watched the worldwide conference for my church. Luckily, I live in a place where someone local has some influence on these matters and it happened to be on TV. Pretty cool considering that I'm on the east coast far away from the influences of the Rocky Mountain west.

Only the audio files are available at this time, but here's the link - http://lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,23-1-947,00.html

I only remember one phrase from the conference and it continues to stick in my mind:

"Faith is not a feeling, it is a decision." (I'll put who said it later because I honestly can't remember)

Perhaps it is because I go from having a lot of faith right now to feelings of despair rather quickly. Something will be said, a life event will happen or I watch the 401k start to go down by five digits instead of the usual three or four. I'll admit that it's been even harder during a time where I've made extra efforts to refocus life, study the good word, visit the temple A LOT, try to help others even when it's hard, and plan for an important upcoming event in my life.

Sometimes the going gets tough and that's why this quote seemed to penetrate my heart. It is a decision. I've made the decision before. A few months ago I decided this and the confidence that accompanied it was invigorating. However, when things don't fall into place after deciding to decide...hope does dwindle and faith truly reverts to the size of a mustard seed.

Where does this leave me now? Well, I will do what I always do. Write about it, cry about it, think about it and complain about it. Go to bed. Get up the next day and decide once again to have faith and move forward.

Somehow I, like everyone else, can look back a year (or more) later and say "Wow, I forgot even going through all that" or "I can't believe I was so worried." At that point, perhaps faith does have a feeling. A confirmation that a trial was overcome (or at least "gone through") and quite possibly the next challenge will be manageable.

Until then, it's another day and another decision.