Pivot People - are you a pivot person?

piv·ot \ˈpi-vət\ - a noun, adjective or verb
Definitions

•  a shaft or pin on which something turns
• a person, thing, or factor having a major or central role, function, or effect b : a key player or position; specifically : an offensive position of a basketball player standing usually with back to the basket to relay passes, shoot, or provide a screen for teammates
• the action of pivoting
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In one of many moments of reflection over the past week, I once again realized how my life is filled with "pivotal" experiences that have shaped who I have become. These experiences were all influenced by special people - some of which I only interacted with for a few minutes, but made a lasting impression on my life.
 
We all have these experiences, but do we remember them? do we realize the impact? do we realize how we impact others pivotal moments? Are we ready for them when they occur?
 
Looking back, I've realized that in every case, I was searching for answers, figuring out some things and trying to live right. Perhaps it is a case of "when the student is ready, the teacher will come." Or, when you are ready to make a change, the pivot person will appear?
 
In any case, I'm extremely grateful to be reflecting upon these moments and realizing a few golden nuggets of truth along the way:

Am I living in a way to realize when pivot people are placed in my life?

Am I living and behaving in such a way that I can be the pivot person for someone else in their moment of need?

We are all pivot people, like it or not - just need to make sure that we don't have the negative impact on another in their process of growth.
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**The rest of this is a long set of personal examples - sorry, but I just had to write it all down and get it out of me. Doing so makes me realize how important each interaction with other human beings is important.**
 
Here are a few I came up with and I'm sure there are many, many more:

Resident Assistant - toward the end of my first year of college, some of the girls started asking if I was going to apply to an RA job the next year. I had no idea where that came from, but as soon as they asked me about it, I knew that I was to become an RA. I applied, amongst over 20 other applicants, and ended up being one of the four selected. Others knew it before I knew it.

BYU indoor track - in my third year of college, I had no idea "what I was going to do with my life." I was about to turn 21 years old and didn't feel like I'd be at BYU-Utah that next year. So, I tried to become a sports counselor, started the paperwork for the BYU study abroad program in Israel, looked into BYU-Hawaii, and thought I could somehow pull off being an EFY or Girls Academy Counselor over the summer. One night I walked around the indoor track after a hearty game of intramural basketball. A man in his 50s was walking around the same pace as me and started to carry on a conversation. He asked me about my relationships with men and dating. I told him of my "zero" effectiveness factor in that area. I was "the friend" to all the guys, but not the "girlfriend." He said that he thought a mission would help me with that area and wondered if I would go. I don't know what happened, but walking home that night, I walked on air. I knew at that moment, I wasn't going to do any of those things I had planned on and that I wouldn't be at BYU that next year. I got home and my parents called and asked if I had thought about a mission. The next day a friend on campus saw me and said "Rebecker, you are glowing. Did you decide to go on a mission?" All of this from people that hadn't had any conversations with me before these moments. I was on my missions within three months of these experiences.

Moving to DC - ever since my first family vacations (and youth temple trips) to DC, I knew that I wanted to live there. But, over time I forgot the dream. After graduating from college, I took a trip with some friends back east and was re-reminded of my desire to move to the capital. Within one month of the trip, I had packed everything up and moved to Indiana to live with my parents, substitute teach and figure out how to get to DC. I was in Indiana for about eight months and became actively involved in the singles program there. Before spring break, my father handed me a round trip ticket to DC and said he wanted me to do what I initially came to do - go to live and work in DC. I went and through a series of communications I ended up at the church employment office at 4:50 p.m. on a Friday night which ended up being the perfect timing for a pre-screen interview, then an interview and then a job at Ernst & Young LLP. The job made all my future jobs easier to get because EY has a great reputation. I moved to DC within three weeks of this experience.

Graduate School - after September 11th, I moved home to work virtually for a while. It helped me save some money and figure out the next step of my life. I decided to go to graduate school and enrolled in an MBA program through the University of Maryland. I was two classes into the program when a friend from undergraduate MTC training days (Tonya Barnett) emailed me out of the blue and said that she thought I should immediately apply to a graduate program in instructional design and technology at GMU. I read a one paragraph description and applied. I was accepted and immediately moved back to Virginia to start taking classes. After my first class, I realized that I didn't even know what other classes were involved. I had not once questioned whether I should do this or not. It was right and I took action. I look back now and am amazed at how that all happened and what amazing jobs have come from it.

My condo - after graduate school, I made more money. So, I started to realize it might be time to buy a place of my own. I drove around different areas of town and wrote down areas that I liked. I just did this a couple of times and then went out with a realtor one Saturday night. She kept steering me toward a part of town I wasn't interested in and I came home really discouraged and decided to bag the entire thing. Plus, everything in my price range looked junky to me. My roommate Harrison emailed me at work that next Monday. She never emails me at work. She forwarded a condo that had been posted for sale on the singles listserv. She then called me because she felt like this was my condo. I called up the owners and set up a time to come see it that night. This was in 2004, around the "height" of the bidding wars around here. We both went and I knew before walking in that "this was the place." I literally wrote my offer on a piece of notebook paper and signed it. They didn't let anyone come in and bid over. I'm still in this condo now and am grateful that my friend Harrison had the impression and sent it my way.

Do you have any of these pivot people working in your life?

Little Brett is home

Well, he isn't "little," but my youngest brother just got home from a two year mission for our church.

Brett was born when I was finishing up my senior year of high school (I'm the oldest) and so there is an 18 year difference between us.

I drove over to Columbus, Ohio to see him, my sister and children and parents. It's great to have these little meet ups in random cities where none of us live. The visits are short, but fun. And, I get to spend money on $80 speeding tickets to further expand the cost of my trip. The joy of being a lead foot! Though, I will admit, that I am a very fast driver and I should be getting tickets all the time instead of every five years.

It was good to take a mini road trip and see family. It reminds me of the "I need to do this more often" that I often forget when I get too focused on work and other unimportant minutia.

Welcome home Brett!

2010-06-06

Missionary Experience - A video

One of my friends from work/church posted this link on Facebook:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/nyregion/1-in-8-million/index.html#naisi_zhao

Basically, her friend created the video of a Mormon missionary in Chinatown, New York.

It brought back a lot of memories.

Right now my job is mentally tough. Really, really mentally tough. I'll write about it more at a later date since it is not appropriate right now. And, I'm not so stupid to think that no one from work is reading this blog.

Anyway, besides this job, the mission was one of the most mentally tough portions of my life. The first few months were so hard that I was sure it was time for the end of the world to come because I was confident "the end" would be less painful.

Why was it tough? It is hard to even remember because the good experiences overshadowed the actual challenges of every day.

Perhaps it was the fact that people hated you for at least 12 hours every day. Every where we would go people who had never spoken to us would ridicule us, lie to us, throw food at us (from school buses), curse us (swearing and literal witch types), and try to prove to us how horrible we were and how we were brainwashed. That was mentally tough. I still remember a moment where someone kicked us out of their house after we had become friends and threatened to burn our books right in front of us. It was one of those piercing feelings that went deep into the soul, but from it came powerful convictions. I needed to make a choice to stand for something because the opposition was strong.

Then, there were the people with the "trained to kill" dogs protecting their homes hidden in the country. And, the big spiders that jumped at us as we made our way through webs to unused front doors. Oh, and there was the commune with the strange tall thin lady at the door that informed us she was an "emissary of the divine light." We watched our backs and prayed for confidence in that dark, foresty, grey and rainy obscure neighborhood in the hills of Oregon...and hit the road quickly. Oh, and then there were the 5-6 pit bulls that ran around me as I tried to teach a family a lesson while getting whipped by their rapidly moving tails. Or, the ladies that didn't let us in during a horrible thunderstorm and we had to walk home with lightening and rain flashing on all sides.

Did I mention that both of my arches fell one week and I had to get orthodics which hurt my feet even more for a few months? But, we kept walking day in and day out, sometimes losing hope in what we were trying to accomplish.

By the end of the mission, we were so immune to abusive people and experiences that most moments weren't even written in the journal even though they had been earth shattering at the first few months of the 1.5 year stint.

Like the woman in the video link above, I too came home feeling like it helped me more than I helped other people. I'm sure it is the same for all that go. We go thinking we will help others and it ends up helping ourselves.

As many people told me then - "the sorrows will outnumber the joys, but the joys will outweigh the sorrows."

Yes, there were trials, and yes, there were miracles. The pit bulls, dobermans and rottweilers went whimpering away most of the time and never bit me or my companion. People would be touched by the Spirit and make life changing decisions over a single weekend. We were protected from those that had originally intended to cause us harm. Others sincerely told us how we had brought them a gift that changed their lives.

My job right now is tough. Politics, favoritism, rewarded mediocrity, and emperors with no clothes prevail. Quiet firmness is often mistaken for weakness or timidness. Shared lessons learned are often viewed as complaining. Unlike the mission, this opposition isn't producing life changing experiences?

Or, is it?

Time will tell.

One thing I do know - the mission forces one to give of themselves heart, mind, and soul during the time of life that is typically the most selfish (college years). It tests one beyond what they think they are capable and most emerge more mature, talented, focused and committed than before they entered the experience.

So, perhaps this means that I will emerge as a great CEO at some point in the future?

Haaaaa.

Like I said - time will tell.

Memory Lane - Were you praying for me?

A long time ago (1992-1994) in a land far away (Oregon Rancher Country, USA), I was a missionary for my church. Though Portland was beautiful, I loved being out in the great open spaces of eastern Oregon.

My companion and I were in charge of 15-20 small towns. We actually lived in the largest of the small towns (John Day - approximately 2,000 people) and would travel all around eastern Oregon since our area was about 2.5 hours wide by 2.5 hours tall (I'm referring to a map in my head).

Anyway, we would teach a small family up in a mountain town called Seneca, Oregon. I think it was about 30 miles from John Day and we would drive through mountains, pine forests and windy roads before we would hit the high plateau of this town of 200 people. The surrounding were attractive, but the town itself seemed destitute. I still don't remember why the town even existed.

However, we taught lessons to this family and their life seemed to transform before our eyes as they felt the Spirit of the truths being taught. The mother was especially anxious for her husband and 10 year old child to learn more and accept the teachings.

One night we were home and praying for this family and were interrupted by a phone call. It was the mother.

"Are you praying for our family right now?" she asked.

"Um, yes, we were just praying for your family" I replied wondering where this was going.

"Well, I just called to tell you that I felt you praying for our family right now." She thanked us and we were left in slight amazement at the situation.

That happened a few more times, but the first time was the most powerful.


The other day I was praying for someone and asked them if they felt my prayers. They said no. I told them that that was too bad. I would keep it up and maybe one of those times they would feel my prayers.

Either way, it made me think - there are people out there praying for each of us. A parent, a brother, a sister, a friend, or maybe even a co-worker or someone just passing by that recognizes we have a need.

Just knowing that somehow makes me have more faith to move forward.

After all, God wants the best for us and why not take advantage of that by trusting in our own prayers and the prayers of others.

On the other hand, it is a reminder to me to 1.) live right and 2.) pray for others a little more.

How does that radio commercial go - "Not a sermon, just a thought."

Just a thought.

Memory Lane - Uncle Sam cereal

This past week I saw some Uncle Sam cereal and bought it. Those flax seeds were just calling my name. I still remember when I discovered it. I was living in John Day, Oregon on my mission. People kept feeding us fattening food because they spent all day working in the fields haying and would come home starving. We, on the other hand, didn't really need that much nourishment and so we would try to eat cereal all morning and afternoon so that we could handle heavy evening meals that often started at 8:00 p.m. at night during that summer.

It must have been a good choice because I lost about 20-25 pounds that summer. Hmmm. It's that time to lose 30-35 pounds again and so this will re-enter my "lifestyle change."

Tuesday Missionary Moments - with Brett

Every Tuesday my little (in age anyway) brother Brett has computer access to send the family his weekly email. I typically see his email and respond rather quickly. Over the past few months he has caught on to this pattern and informed me that he will be at the computer the same time every Tuesday.

So, every Tuesday I make sure I keep the Blackberry close during that time so I can respond quickly and he can see I'm there even just for a quick email conversation.

These moments are kind of fun for me and I know he looks forward to it as well. Yep, these are modern missionary moments.

Memories - Mason jars

So, I just looked at my friend Ann's blog and saw an entry about "crafts" made at enrichment night. It reminded me of a gift I received when I was a missionary many, many years ago.

She wrote about making crafts with Mason jars. It sounded like a spin off of an enrichment (then it was homemaking) activity in Oregon in 1992.

I was the premier recipient of a Mason jar covered with a stuffed teddy bear head and a bright green calico dress. This is displayed in the picture below. I'm quite sure this was the end product of an enrichment activity gone astray. I can't remember if this seemed like a sincere gift or one of those ABU (already been used) gifts or ....a pawn off gift just because someone thought it would bless my missionary life in some way. As you can tell, this provided a few jovial moments at the end of a hard day.





Now, I know that we all have the right to an opinion, but sometimes it is helpful to keep in mind the person for which you are creating the gift. Some people and homes welcome crafts more abundantly than others. My home has fewer and fewer crafts each year (I think I'm at around zero right now) and more and more computer programs, computer gadgets and books. I do like art, photography and anything digital, but I don't count these to be crafts.










A gift that was a little higher on the "favored" list was this pair of colorful slippers also given to me on my mission. I love bright colors, but the color combinations were slightly off. Either way, my companion and I caught a few shots sporting our new footlets and we wore them frequently to avoid touching the gross carpet.

At one point on my mission we lived with this woman, Leslie, and she was the giver of non-enrichment gifts. But, mostly I'm sharing this picture so you could admire the bad permanent I got that day.

Lest anyone that reads this thinks I am ungrateful for any gift I have received, it is important to know that all gifts and notes are appreciated. Some bring tears, some bring out a secret happiness, some practical usage and others....well, let's just say...they do provide entertainment and laughs. Now, in my world....that is a pretty good gift to give.

P.S. These gifts have now made it to my "Gifts" picture album. In time, I will remember all gifts given, but for some their are no pictures and for those that are...I just have to retrieve the memory still. So, please don't take offense if your gift is not here.

Elder - Brett goes to the MTC

Today Brett went into the Missionary Training Center for a few weeks before heading off to Kennewick, Washington. It was great to see him, and almost all of my brothers and sisters, this weekend to send him off.

Brett was born when I was finishing my senior year of high school. Quite the gap between us! Now he is going to the part of the country where I served my mission. In fact, it looks like part of the area of eastern Oregon that I served in will now be in his mission. That was "rancher country" and I almost loved it more than the Portland area because it was so authentic and different than the typical city/suburb experience. The people were amazing! They would drive us two or three hours to an appointment. Sometimes they would even drive us up to Monument, Oregon from John Day and find a family for us to stay the night with since it was such a long drive. All of this for an appointment!

Those horses were a lot bigger than they look in the picture.

Me with Sis. Valora in John Day area at one of the members ranch houses. Often they would invite us over to eat around 8 p.m. when the haying was completed for the evening.

Good times and I'm glad Brett gets to experience his adventure in the Northwest.

Brett - on his way to the Rugby final four!

Congrats to Brett! BYU beat out Dartmouth and San Diego State in Albuquerque, New Mexico this weekend. Brett played the whole game which is especially great for a freshman.

Now BYU Rugby goes to the final four at Stanford on May 2-3. I think I'll go to the game again since Brett will be gone on a mission for two years. Plus, everytime I go I never take the time to go into San Francisco. I am in need of a little bit of travel and it's great to see some of my relatives at the same time.

Go BYU Rugby! Go Brett!

Mission Call - Mr. Brett goes to Washington

Brett got his mission call on Thursday, February 28th. He is going to the Washington Kennewick mission. Very cool. I thought he would go to Portland like me, but it's just as well because the new mission boundaries actually include one of my areas in eastern Oregon.

All of my brothers, and sister, went to central or South America. I just couldn't see that continuing. The odds were against it. So, the oldest child and the youngest child got/get to go to the pacific northwest.

My brother Chris called us all and set up a "gotomeeting" on Thursday and so all eight brothers and sisters were on the conference call while Brett opened the envelope with the mission call. What a neat experience! Half the time we couldn't tell who was talking because very few of us have distinct voices, but it felt like a mini-reunion. We're going to start a tradition as a result of it and set a call up for every couple of weeks.

Anyway, here's to Brett on the next two years of his life! And, here's a picture of me those many years ago and the link to my mission book.

P.S. You must check the link called "Chris." True to the name of the blog, it has not been updated in a while. (-: